What not to say to lesbians, redux

A fan showed me this video today. I think it's brilliant. I've heard literally all of these things from straight men trying to pick me up (including the aggressive stuff at the end, and the crying). I just love this.


  1. Good lord, that’s embarrassing. Can I just turn in my Man Card and be something else, please? It’s difficult enough dealing with the real emotions that come from having a crush on or actually falling for a lesbian without this sort of nonsense. Don’t get me wrong, I get why you posted this. It just makes me profoundly ashamed.

    1. All I can suggest is that if you have friends or acquaintances that pull this kind of stuff, as a dude, you can tell them it’s lame in a way that girls can’t. Not all anybodies are anything…but there are certain patterns that recur.

      I try to be a person that thinks about my effect on the world and other people. I’m by no means perfect, but I try to at least be conscious of my impact and try to err on the side of good.

      1. I’ve had to shut this down a few times before, both with acquaintances and people I didn’t know. I’m not subtle about it either. It’s a genuine berserk button for me and I don’t tolerate it in the slightest.

        1. All you can do is try. I post stuff like this because I think it’s funny but also educational. Maybe, just maybe, someone will see this or my other blog on the subject and think “ooooh, maybe I shouldn’t use those lines.”

  2. I realized a while ago that saying I’m a lesbian actually *ENCOURAGES* a lot of men. Once they find out that I’m a lesbian, I often have to get ugly to get them to back off and stop asking me intrusive, prurient, and entitled questions they wouldn’t think to ask a straight person like “Don’t you want to try a real man instead of a fake one?” and “When can we do a threesome?” Even if I say I’ve got a girlfriend, it’s irrelevant, because of course the relationships that women have aren’t considered real relationships.

    So I’ve actually started saying that I have a boyfriend. And about 90% of the time it’s the only thing that seems to get a guy to immediately give up and stop trying to hit on me. It’s pretty damn sad that the only thing that some of these men respect enough to move on is a woman ‘belonging’ to another man. But anything “less” then that makes you fair game. As for the aggression and the crying…I can actually believe that some guys would be that insecure having their girlfriends around you. LMAO!!! I’ve never had a guy treat me like I was sexual competition… ugh, they always treat me like I’m the prey. SMH. Maybe that aggressiveness and insecurity tends to happen more often with masculine of center lesbians? Idk.

    1. that pretty much are true in essence that MEN dont care if WOMEN belong to another WOMEN, because in our mind your relationship (despite you have it in your mind) means nothing. And pretty much MEN who attract to lesbian are on the ‘masculine’ one (the butch) instead the ‘feminine’ one (the fhem) , I don’t know why , but that’s how I felt (net said MEN who attract to lesbian are called Lesbro). And despite all that, I prefer my girlfriend hanging (or loving) with another women instead of another men :p

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