My friend from last night wrote me back. I guess he didn’t Google me. I won’t respond to this email, but here it is.
Alot of what you are saying is just what the mainstream people say yeah yeah. I guess you never actually talked to girls I’m the industry who choose to do this for a living and who had doors open for them in life. You made the mistake of demanding things without first making it known that you are there to work and not to get.hooked up as you made it sound in your first email. Most young men and women do that. How you going to demand when you aren’t known when you aren’t someone we need?
Now you try and turn it around to the whole feminist thing saying oh since this industry is not.good for females then I can demand this and that. Read your first email and you’ll see you just say I only do whatever I want and you are there to film it and in return you expect to get paid.
I didn’t say you must do this or that I just replied to your mistake of demanding. Of course the girls we work with we meet and discuss what we want and what they want and we for from there but to start with you emailing to say what you want when you haven’t done anything is unprofessional.
Again I don’t mean to be harsh but its the truth. So you only want to do what you want to do, that’s fine bit you should’ve made us understand that you now this is a job n’s not forbyou to get laid. Unless you change the way you communicate I don’t think this is a future for you with us or this industry on general. And fyi there is so much free pornnout there and you saying real sex and real enjoyment is what will sell as if thibis a new concept. We create a brand out of guys and girls and not just do porn.
My unprofessional rant is over. Good luck.
Continue reading “In which I am called “Unprofessional”” »
The other day, I responded to an ad on craigslist looking for adult models. I respond to a lot of these sorts of ads, and I sometimes get work from them. I owe the start of my career to craigslist, and I am always open to working for smaller outfits and people just starting out. I ignore the ads that seem like obvious bullshit, but I got my initial booking with Sweetheart Video via craigslist. I hooked up with MormonGirlz.com and PillowBook and many of the other awesome, indie, rewarding projects I have been a part of from Internet channels outside the usual porno pipeline.
I generally start my emails with “if you are shooting girl/girl” followed by a description of why I’m awesome and include some pictures. In this particular case, I closed my email with “PS I’m also available for nude non sex modeling or video, but not interested in boy/girl or solo masturbation. I only want to shoot sex on camera that turns me on.”
Continue reading “What Makes Good Porn?” »
Last year, me and Charlotte Stokely won #milehighmadness
I need your help this year. Please vote today (Feb 6). There are three ways to vote and you can do all three.
1. Tweet “@milehighmovies I want @lily_cade and @justinejoli for #milehighmadness
2. Go to Facebook.com/milehighmedia and post your vote as a comment
3. Email email@example.com and tell them you vote for me.
I don’t do a lot of fan vote stuff, but I love this contest and it would mean a lot to me if you would help me out :)
I received the following question on tumblr: what would you say to those radfeminists who think what you do is for the male gaze, and that toy/strapon sex is perpetuates penis in vagina sex, which they consider rape(even when it’s between two consenting married couples)? I ask cause I saw one site discussing the issue of porn and your name came up, and said you are just part of the rape culture of porn.
This is my response:
I read a lot of radical feminist literature when I was younger, and I think that there are aspects of that analysis that are valid. I still read some radical feminist stuff that I agree with. You may heard me talk about “The Void” before, by which I mean things like death and unfairness that are the inescapable context of the world. Radical feminism looks at the void regarding sex.
Continue reading “On Feminism” »
Oct 21 is International Fisting Day. I love fisting, but it’s often censored in porn. Many DVD companies can’t show fisting because retail markets won’t accept movies with this sex act included. Why is it banned? Check out Jiz Lee’s blog post for more info!
I love fisting, feeling my entire hand inside my lover’s body. I consider my hands my major sex organ, so this feels both intimate and intense. I love feeling someone’s body open up to me. I love feeling her cervix against my hand. I love feeling her orgasm around my entire hand. Here at LilyCade.com, I definitely don’t censor it!
Continue reading “Fisting Day” »
It’s out. You can order. You should order it.
My most ambitious and best film featuring a funny story, politicians getting down, me as Rachel Maddow and four stellar sex scenes. Click the picture to purchase!
The Trailer for my latest movie is out. Click here to watch the hardcore version.
Between the Headlines features an all star cast – Nina Hartley, Lotus Lain, Ela Darling, Vanessa Veracruz, Aiden Starr, Aaliyah Love, Zoey Monroe and of course, yours truly. This is my most ambitious and best film, shot in RAW on the Digital Bolex, coming soon to a porno store near you!
When I was a child, I had two goats. We bought them to keep our horse company, but she hated them, so they lived in their own pen which they were continually finding new ways to escape from. When they escaped, one of their favorite pastimes involved slamming their heads into our plate glass windows, attacking their own reflections. No matter how many times they attacked the hard, cold, glass goat they never learned that it was themselves. Goats lack that self awareness. Unfortunately, so do many people.
I’ve used this metaphor before, in reference to men who ask me incredibly stupid questions about my sexuality without turning that line of questioning on to themselves. I have this sort of standard slate of responses to the “how do you know you’re a lesbian” question which are all based on forcing the person to see the “goat in the mirror.” If you say “how do you know if you don’t like it if you haven’t tried it?” I’ll come back with “how do you?” If you tell me I haven’t had the right dick yet, I’ll ask you to go find it first.
Continue reading “The Goat in the Mirror” »
I’ve been calling myself “Porn Valley’s Gold Star Lesbian” since I figured out that it was something that set me apart from other performers. When I first got into porn, I used “Lily Cade: Not The Girl Next Door” for about five minutes (on my myspace. Yes, I know. I’m dating myself) in response to having been told that I needed to be more “girl next door” if I wanted to work. It’s never been a goal of mine to be just like everyone else, but there are a lot of non GND girls. There are not a lot of “gold star lesbians” or lesbians in general, so I went with something that really did set me apart.
Continue reading “Porn Valley’s Gold Star Lesbian” »
If you’ve been following my twitter, you’re aware that for days now I’ve been engaged in what I’m calling “The Great Twitter War of June 2014″. I did not want to fight this, but I’m also not somebody who will allow myself to be bullied with accusations of bigotry for either my sexuality or my artistic expression. To some extent this has been an SF vs LA battle, but it’s also been a grown ups vs children battle.
There’s more to this, and I may get into later. Certainly I’m archiving some of these tweets. Here’s the basics: Chelsea Poe, a pre- or non-op transsexual woman (a human being with a penis and testicles) asked me to cast her in my lesbian porn. I said no, and she accused me of transphobia, and it could have been left at that, but people piled on and piled on and I stood there and fought it because this whole thing is coming from a place of refusal to face reality… and I don’t believe in suffering delusion.
Continue reading “Why I Went to War” »
I once went hiking with my wife and a girl who was then our sometimes lover and happened upon a waterfall. Kids were jumping off the cliff into a rocky pool of water below. We weren’t going to jump, but I looked back, and something in me told me I had to. I stripped to my bra and went up to the ledge. I almost turned back, but the boy behind me told the girls with him “you can do it, look, she’s doing it” so I had to then, so I did.
The second my feet left the edge my first thought was “I regret this” but it was too late. I was in the air. I had to follow through. I hit the water, my heart pounding, my breath seizing in my chest, and it was cold and it was hard and I wasn’t exactly happy that I’d done it but it was an experience for my file.
Today I got into a war on twitter, which I wish I hadn’t done, but I stand by what I said. I don’t have to fight your fight, and I don’t have to hire or fuck you, and porn is maybe art and maybe smut and maybe corporate trash…but neither porn nor sex is a civil right. I am proud of who I am, and of my work, but you don’t have to like me or it. If you want change in porn (or in anything else) then make it, but why attack a fellow artist for not being interested in your subject of choice? I don’t belong to anyone but myself.
I get this question a lot. It shows a lack of understanding of sex so profound it saddens me. My friend has an easy answer to this one: “You like vaginas, right? Sheep have vaginas.” I feel this sums it up pretty perfectly, but I have more to say on the subject.
Sex is about connection. The sex acts we do and the tools we use to do them (toys, tongues, fingers, dicks, pussies, the force of our energy, our voices, our words and everything else) are about furthering this connection. Our bodies have nerves, and sex engages those nerves…but the reason we fuck people and not sit alone and use a vibrator or our own hands or a fleshlight is because we want to experience something with another person. Sex is mutual.
Continue reading “Why do you like dildos if you don’t like dicks?” »